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Have you ever wondered what it actually means to become your best self?
Is it really about achieving every goal on your vision board, waking up at 5 AM, or magically figuring out the “perfect” routine?
For the longest time, I thought this was it. Becoming my best self meant fixing all my flaws and overloading my schedule.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to realize: It’s not about doing more; it’s about doing what matters.
In this blog, I’ll share 9 golden tips to better yourself and feel whole, authentic, and you.
1. Start with self-awareness
How well do you really know yourself? And I’m not just talking about your favorite coffee order or the songs you have on repeat.
Self-awareness goes deeper—it’s about understanding your patterns, triggers, values, and what makes you tick.
So, first of all, start by paying attention to your habits and feelings. Ask yourself, “Why did I react that way?” or “Does this thing I’m doing align with what I actually want?”
Next, check in with your values. I like to write down five things that are really important to me—family, creativity, freedom, health, financial strength. Then I reflect on my actions and see if they align with those priorities and what changes I can make to close that gap.
2. Build habits, not unrealistic goals
Raise your hand if you’ve ever set a goal so big that it felt impossible to even start. (Yeah, me too.)
Big, shiny goals are great in theory, but overwhelming in real life. Instead, invest your time and effort in building tiny, sustainable habits that lead to lasting change.
For example, instead of saying, “I’m going to work out five days a week for an hour,” start with something smaller like, “I’ll do a 10-minute walk after lunch every day.” That’s how I started moving my body more—one manageable habit at a time.
The secret is to make the habit so easy, that you can’t fail.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of tracking progress. Use a habit tracker app or just tick off boxes on paper. There’s something so satisfying and motivating about seeing those streaks add up!
And remember, consistency > perfection. You’re not going to nail it every day, and that’s okay. Focus on showing up more often than not.
3. Prioritize rest and play
Think of rest as a productivity tool. When you’re well-rested, you think clearer, work better, and let’s be real, you’re way more fun to be around (I know I am).
And no, you don’t need to “earn” your rest—which is total nonsense, by the way. Rest isn’t lazy, it’s necessary.
Now, how do you rest?
Start small and schedule time to unplug. Whether that’s a 20-minute nap, a no-phone Sunday morning, or a night where Netflix and takeouts are your only plans, rest should feel like a reward, not a chore.
And hey, don’t forget to mix it up with some fun! Find something that you truly enjoy (maybe a silly card game or picking up a hobby you dropped years ago).
The point? To reconnect with joy.
Make rest and play non-negotiable and soon they’ll become habits instead of afterthoughts.
4. Invest in relationships that matter
If you’re serious about doing everything you can to better yourself, you need to get intentional about the energy you let in.
This starts with taking a look at your inner circle and identifying your “core people.” These are the ones who lift you up, challenge you, and genuinely care about your growth.
Next, make time for them. Relationships thrive on effort, and the more you pour into the right ones, the stronger they get. Schedule regular check-ins, even if it’s a quick coffee or a FaceTime session.
But let’s not ignore the hard part: letting go of relationships that no longer serve you. It’s tough, I know, but if someone constantly drains you, belittles your dreams, or doesn’t show up for you, it’s worth reevaluating their place in your life.
Lastly, don’t forget about building new connections. Put yourself out there. Join a class, attend events that interest you, or even send that “Hey, let’s catch up!” text to someone you’ve lost touch with.
5. Get clear on what makes you happy
Half the time, we’re chasing things we think will make us happy because everyone else says they will.
But have you ever asked yourself, “What actually makes me happy?” Like, genuinely happy—not what looks good on Instagram or what your parents expect from you.
So, here’s my advice: make a “happy list.” Seriously, grab a notebook and write down the things that bring you joy—big or small.
Think about what lights you up, what makes you lose track of time, or what leaves you feeling fulfilled. Is it traveling? Cooking? Spending time outdoors? Once you know, prioritize those things unapologetically.
And don’t get stuck in the “someday” trap. Remember, happiness isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you create right now. So, take out those 10 minutes to dance to your favorite playlist or watch the sunset!
6. Own your story
Owning your story—the good, the messy, and the downright cringe-worthy—is one of the most powerful things you can do.
For me, it started with reframing how I looked at my past. Instead of seeing my mistakes as failures, I began seeing them as lessons. The heartbreaks, the wins, the setbacks, the moments I thought I’d never get through—I started owning every single one of them.
Now, the million-dollar question: where do you begin?
Simple. Start by getting curious about your own narrative. Ask yourself: what have I learned from my struggles? What strengths have I gained because of them? Write it down if it helps. Seeing your story on paper can make it feel more real and less scary.
But most importantly, don’t let anyone else write your story for you. People will always have opinions, but you get to decide how you define yourself. So, stop chasing approval, take control of your narrative, and start living authentically—that’s the best way to embrace life.
7. Build a morning routine that feels like you
Building a morning routine does not mean following some influencer’s morning blueprint (hello, 5 AM yoga and celery juice).
No, none of that nonsense. The goal here is to create a routine that is actually authentic to you. Because when your morning aligns with who you are and what you need, everything else starts to feel a little easier.
To achieve this, first ditch the pressure to have a “productive” morning. What do you want your morning to feel like? Calm? Energizing? Slow? Start there.
Even dedicating 10-15 minutes to yourself (no, scrolling IG doesn’t count) before diving into work can make a huge difference.
8. Learn the art of emotional resilience
I’ll be honest, this one’s not easy. But it’s worth it.
When you’re emotionally resilient, you’re able to bounce back from challenges without letting them completely derail you. However, it’s not about being “tough” or pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. Rather, you’re building the tools to handle life’s ups and downs in a healthier way.
One thing that’s helped me is naming my emotions instead of running from them. When you feel overwhelmed, take a pause and ask yourself, “What am I actually feeling right now?” Sometimes just identifying the emotion—whether it’s anger, sadness, or anxiety—can make it feel less overwhelming.
It’s also important to shift your perspective. For example, when something doesn’t go as planned, instead of spiraling, focus on what you’ve learned from it.
I know all this sounds cliché, but the more you work on it, the easier it gets to navigate life’s twists and turns without losing your center.
9. Get comfortable with being alone
We’re so used to filling every moment with distractions—our phones, Netflix, endless plans—that the idea of sitting with just ourselves can feel…unsettling.
But learning to be okay with your own company? That’s where real growth happens.
If the thought of being alone makes you cringe or scared, here’s a tip: start small. Take yourself on a “date.” Go grab a coffee, take a walk, or hit a bookstore solo.
Yes, it might feel awkward at first, but the more you do it, the more you’ll realize that being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. It’s about creating space to breathe and just be.
There’s another thing that helped me here: getting curious about my thoughts. When I’m alone, instead of reaching for my phone the second silence creeps in, I like to take a minute to check in with myself. What’s on my mind? What am I feeling?
Getting comfortable with my inner dialogue has probably been the biggest help in learning how to be alone in an empowering manner.
Related articles to how to better yourself
- Broken? Nah, Say—Just Upgrading Because Here’s How to Heal Yourself and Get That Spark Back!
- 16 Toxic Morning Habits That Are Wrecking Your Day & You Don’t Even Know It!
- 29 Easy Ways to Get out of a Slump (No BS, Just Action!)
- 19 Gentle Nudges to Help You Fall in Love with Yourself (Slowly but Surely)
- 25 Power Moves to Put Yourself First Without the Guilt
