Your Girl Knows’ product recommendations are handpicked by our editorial team and given the seal of approval by Harman herself. When you buy something through our affiliate links, we might earn a little commission—at no extra cost to you! We only recommend products we genuinely love. Please read my Disclosure Policy for additional information.
Ever had one of those days when you’re juggling 57 things, but somehow you didn’t make it on the list?
I guess we’ve all been there, right? You’re showing up for your friends, your job, maybe even your neighbor’s dog—but when it comes to you?
Crickets.
But here’s what I learned the hard way: showing up for yourself isn’t some luxury reserved for ‘later’ when everything else is handled. It’s actually the foundation for handling everything else without burning out or losing yourself in the shuffle.
So, if you’ve been feeling like a side character in your own story, it’s time for a plot twist. Today, I’m going to spill the beans on how you can start showing up for yourself, because honestly? You’re worth every bit of it.
So, here’s exactly how to show up for yourself like you do for others!
1. Stop Ghosting Your Own Goals.
Ghosting your goals is like swiping left on your future self. Not the vibe that you want, right?
So, start small and work towards your goals, even if it’s just spending 10 minutes a day. You’re still making progress.
2. Make Self-Care Your Daily Vibe, Not Just a Sunday Ritual.
Maybe it’s a 5-minute meditation in the morning, blasting your favorite playlist while cooking, or even just saying “no” to that one thing you really didn’t want to do.
Self-care is about honoring yourself in the little moments. It’s about choosing yourself in the middle of a chaotic week and doing what makes you feel good—mentally, emotionally, and physically.
3. Prioritize Your Needs for Once.
Being a caring human is great. But constantly putting yourself last? That’s not.
It’s like being the friend who brings snacks to the party but never eats any—you’re not even enjoying the goodies of your own life!
So, put yourself first every now and then and take care of your needs.
4. Own Your Quirks—Being Weird Is the New Cool.
Whether it’s your obsession with random trivia or your love for pineapple on pizza, your quirks are your signature moves. And you’ve gotta own them, babe.
Stop toning yourself down to fit in and start embracing what makes you, you.
5. Drop the People-pleasing Act.
Listen, trying to make everyone happy is exhausting—and spoiler alert: it’s impossible. You’re not a human doormat, after all.
It’s alright to set boundaries and say “no” to something you don’t like. It might seem scary at first, but trust me, it’s the most freeing thing you’ll ever do!
6. Embrace Your Inner Hype Woman!
If you wouldn’t let your bestie talk down on herself, why would you do it to yourself?
Give yourself the love you deserve—there’s nothing cringy about it. Because you are that girl, and it’s time you realized it.
7. Treat Small Wins Like the Big Deals They Are.
We’ve all been trained to only celebrate the big stuff—promotions, degrees, weddings, blah blah blah.
But what about everyday wins? Like when you finally cleaned out that drawer or sent a difficult email you’ve been avoiding?
Don’t wait for the “big” success to celebrate. The little wins are just as important, and honestly, they make life more fun.
8. Stop Comparing Your Journey to Others.
Nobody, I said, NOBODY has it all together. No matter how it looks online.
Your journey is your own. So, stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s carefully curated Insta post.
9. You Don’t Need to Wait for Permission.
Waiting for someone else to give you a “go”? Gurl, S.T.O.P.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to live your best life or go after your dreams. Whether it’s switching careers, starting a side hustle, or finally booking that solo trip—only you get to call the shots.
10. Keep Promises You Make to Yourself.
When you break a promise to yourself, you’re sending a message that your word doesn’t matter. So, treat such promises with the same seriousness as you would for anyone else, because you deserve that kind of loyalty.
11. Break up With Perfectionism—It’s Toxic AF.
Every tiny step forward matters more than obsessing over perfection. Give yourself permission to mess up, to learn as you go, and to grow.
Let go of perfectionism—it’s holding you back more than it’s helping.
12. Trust Your Gut.
Your intuition is way more accurate than you give it credit for. So, if something feels off, it probably is.
It’s best to tune in and listen to yourself. Don’t let the noise from outside drown out your inner voice. Trust me here and trust yourself!
13. Invest in Your Growth.
The best thing you can invest in is your growth.
Whether it’s upskilling yourself, signing up for a new language course, or spending time reading something that lights you up. It all counts as growth.
14. Take Regular Breaks. Burnout Isn’t a Flex.
Your brain, body, and soul need breaks—like, real breaks. No checking emails or doom-scrolling while “resting.” Take time to actually recharge.
I’d suggest you go out for a walk, watch your favorite episode of Gilmore Girls, or nap like it’s your job!
15. Dress Up for Yourself, Not For the ‘Gram.
We’ve all been guilty of dressing for the ‘gram at some point—the perfectly curated outfits, the aesthetic snaps. But what about wearing that actually makes you feel confident and happy?
So, forget about what’s hot on IG once in a while, and wear what makes you feel like the main character. I’m sure you’ll attract way more than just some likes.
16. Therapy Is Chic.
Talking to a professional about your struggles, your goals, and everything in between isn’t just brave—it’s smart.
There’s zero shame in getting help to navigate life’s messy moments. In fact, I believe, it’s one of the best ways to show up for yourself.
17. Set Goals That Scare You.
If your goals don’t make you a little nervous, are they even worth it? Babe, the best growth happens just outside your comfort zone.
Sure, it’s scary, but it’s also exhilarating. And the best part? When you crush them, you’ll realize you were capable all along.
18. Know Your Worth.
You are worth more than you think, and it’s time you started acting like it. And when you’ve figured out your value? Add tax!
Stop settling for less or underselling your skills. You’re not just worthy—you’re priceless.
19. Get out of Your Own Way.
Negative self-talk is the ultimate blocker to showing up for yourself. It’s the reason we hesitate, procrastinate, and hold back.
So, instead of “I can’t,” try “I’m capable.” Get out of your own way, because that’s the only thing stopping you from being your best self.
20. Let Go of Battles That Aren’t Worth Fighting.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is walk away from drama, negativity, or situations that don’t serve you.
I’m not telling you to give up. But pick your battles wisely and let go of the rest. You’ve got bigger things to conquer.
21. Stop Waiting for the Right Moment.
Honey, if you’re waiting for stars to align or for a magical sign from the universe, you might end up waiting forever. The best time to start anything is now.
Take the leap, even if it feels messy or imperfect. The moment is the one you create.
22. Take Yourself on Solo Dates.
Solo dates give you a chance to reconnect with you—to enjoy your own company and do exactly what makes you happy. Plus, it’s a great way to build confidence
and independence.
Trust yourself to the experience, indulge in what you love, and relish in the fact that you’re your own best company.
23. Stop Over-Explaining Yourself.
You’re allowed to make choices based on what’s best for you, period. Keep it simple: “No, thank you.” “That doesn’t work for me.” End of story.
Stand firm in your decisions without feeling like you need to justify them. Save your energy for the things that really matter, like, oh I don’t know…living your best life?
24. Validate Yourself First—Outside Approval Is Just a Bonus.
External validation might feel nice at the moment, but it’s not sustainable. The real key to confidence? Validate yourself first.
If someone else gives you props, cool, but don’t rely on it. You’ve got all the validation you need within.
25. Remember, Your Mistakes Don’t Define You.
Made a mistake? Welcome to the human race. We all mess up from time to time, but what matters more is how you bounce back.
Instead of dwelling on them, take what you can from the lesson and keep it moving. That’s all part of the process.